Grace.

I am no lovely girl, nor will I inspire dreams...for I am not the jewel set center-crown
Let the fates swirl, let them steam...burn out for I am not a person of renown.

Love requires grace,
And a unbreakble heart.

-Krista

Crystal Fields

My dreams carry me far away.....beyond the oceans and dipping beneath the horizion. Inward and ever longer into vast fields with indistinct flowers of many shades of purple. Longing that I expect to arrive soon...never does. I wander over each hillock in dazed amusement..music begins to play fuzzy at first but steadly becomes clear, and I awake in darkness.

Snow-dazzled,
Krista

Why?

I've been thinking on 'why' I have this blog, when I don't really want anyone to commiserate with? It seems everything I write becomes somehow less...me. And I just don't have that much of me anymore.
The mirror taunts me, "Who are you?" I'm Krista Murphy! "Oh! Are you sure? Six years ago, you thought you were Krista Henwood! What happened to her?!" Void..."And eight years ago-" SHUT UP! "you had-" I SAID STOP! "a heart." just stop it. "So I say, Who are you?" ...crack...darkness...the part of me..I need to leave here, the person whoever she was...is the part "with the pain-" that will never..fully leave me..whoever that is.

-me

Forever Tomorrow

A bit of history around my wrist, I look out...out past the misty confines of the forest to the sky. "Please," I hear my voice, "Please, there's got to be more than...this...I need...life..." I don't know why I said that, or spoke at all to the morning silence, but I did...

-Krista

Silent Tears

There must be something wrong with me...during a time when everyone is happy and enjoying themselves, I'm watching it all in exclusion. My stomach churns, and I'm lost in the haze of color, light, and sound...people are laughing and making jokes, finding new memories and forgeting the old...me I suppose...but maybe not me but....I don't know. Choking back resentment and swallowing tears I pretend to be them...so happy...but I'm not. Why am I not?

-Krista